oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
