Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize