i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
