I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
