If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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