it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
