porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
