I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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