he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize