Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How external is "for external use only"?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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