So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
