Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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