making cat noises will not fix the situation.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
