Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
