Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
