yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
