She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
