you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
