He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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