i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
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It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
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