New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So vagazzling was a success
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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