can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
