Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I want her autograph on my taint
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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