if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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