I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
