how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We smell like vodka and hangover
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