I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
