No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
