Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
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Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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