in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
