His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
