This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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