ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
