Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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