so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
