I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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