my mouth tastes like poor choices
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
