So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
