I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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