mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
