There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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