i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
