I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
