and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Terrible idea I love it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
