farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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