It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The Olympian is in my bed
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
