Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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