Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
