turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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