Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
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So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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