I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
