Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
