But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
