D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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