Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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