we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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