so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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