THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
