I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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