did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
